By, Scottie Williams
As a coach, I think there are times when we forget that some of the people we work with have really, really low self-confidence. I think this happens because most coaches are very confident people themselves. When you’re a coach, you believe that you’re skilled and capable enough to teach others how to do something.
And because coaches are people who believe in themselves pretty strongly, they often make the mistake of thinking everybody else is the same. I/We just naturally assume that they’re all as secure and confident as we are.
That’s a mistake. Some of the people we coach have little to no faith in their abilities. For a variety of reasons, they don’t believe in themselves. This is where the situation gets delicate because people with low self-esteem rely on their coaches for their confidence.
When this situation exists, the coach can change the person’s whole self-image…for better or worse. When the coach gives praise and encouragement, it can take the persons confidence to a higher level than it has ever been to. And when the coach gives negativity and denigration, it can literally destroy any traces of inner strength that the person might have had.
Many of us can remember comments people made to us ten years ago…or longer. The person who made the comment was probably somebody whose opinion mattered to you a lot, and they said something to you that you never forgot. Was it a positive thing, something that made you feel great about yourself? Or was it a crappy piece of negativity that got under your skin and discouraged you?
By the way, guys can be just as susceptible to this as the ladies. We’re all human.
If you’re a coach, this can scare us because we don’t want to say anything that’s going to crush somebody’s spirits. Well, there’s a really easy way to make sure that doesn’t happen. Just make sure you’re always, always, always, always staying positive and optimistic (trust me not always that easy to do).
When they succeed we always try to give them approval. To get them fired up and congratulate them.
When they fail, tell them it’s a temporary setback and you’ll both work together to fix it.
NOTE: They’ll believe what you say a lot more if they know you care about them.
It is hard sometimes to remember that they had it pretty rough before they walked in your gym. Some of them have been abused. Some were raised by scumbag parents who told them they were gonna fail every day when they were kids. Some of them battle emotional issues. The last thing they need is some sarcastic coach making jokes in front of everybody about how lousy their technique is.
And I’m not telling you that you need to be babied!!! As a coach you have to push them…hard.
Nobody ever became successful by being coddled. The best coaches are borderline slave drivers. But they’re also cool people who inspire everybody around them. Their people don’t mind working hard because they have faith in what they’re doing and who’s telling them to do it.
Some people can convince themselves that they’re pieces of s—t in ten seconds. They need somebody to believe in them. They need to find a way to build faith in themselves.
I am here to help gang, if there is anything I can do for you, please do not hesitate to contact me privately and I would love to help you out!!
In the mean time, you need to push harder than you thought possible…
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